So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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