is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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