Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
