This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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