the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We left the knife in your bed.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
