he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
