Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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