She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
