They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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