we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
