The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
worst night to have a conscience
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
