dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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