For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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