dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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