Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
