my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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