I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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