I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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