Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
