Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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