What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Text me some of your sweat
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
