is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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