Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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