did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
