I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize