nutella sex= disaster
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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