When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
