You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
