I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
where are my eyebrows?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
