I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
