I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
