I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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