I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize