She went from zero to smokin in five shots
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
