He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
