Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
