Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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