Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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