Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she looked like the before picture.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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