Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
