I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I deserve this hangover.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize