Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he shaved USA in his pubs
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
