I will die if light touches me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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