The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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