Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
