so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
