When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
