TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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