if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
