Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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