Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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