Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
