I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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