I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
