I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize