Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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