why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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