Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize