who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
