It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
