were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
