Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
