Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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