On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
