I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
