it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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