next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
