He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
