After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
