I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
this boner is exhausting
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
