Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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