highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize