I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
