Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
