i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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