We're facebook friends in real life
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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