So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
