ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
