I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
